22 01 2009

By: S. Andrews
First of all any idiot knows that a quasar  (pronounced: kwā-zär ) according to Webster.com, is any of a class of celestial objects that resemble stars but whose large redshift and apparent brightness imply extreme distance and huge energy output.  Come on man…this is common knowledge that is taught in America’s flourishing public school system.

Before a factual and accurate definition of quasar can be discovered we must first explore the word by dissecting it into two distinct pieces….or parts for the lay person. First we must explore the word qua (pronounced: kwā ) which sounds somewhat similar to the word quatro which in Spanish means four or again for the amateur language artist THE NUMBER 4. Therefore qua in this sense of the word means 4 of something, but exactly what is something?

Next we need to investigate the word sar (pronounced: zär ) which sounds like czar means a Russian King or ruler of Russia not a ruler in Russia that you would use to measure a Russian bear or an AK-47 machine gun but a person who is control of Russia….you know his majesty the Russian Czar….or “I will do as you wish my Czar (King)”.

Therefore if we combine the two words qua and sar we come up with quasar which means a group of 4 little Russian Kings. Why are they little do you ask? Well little sounds better than just 4 Russian Kings so if you don’t like it than come up with your own post you bastard. To close, quasar is the term used when there are groups of 4 little Russian Kings running around Moscow trying to get the likes of Vladimir Putin and other heads of the Russian Parliament to do as they please. For example quasars have recently lobbied for their country to place them back upon the throne for years. In a recent article of Quasars Weekly – a monthly periodical of ruling instructions for groups of 4 small Russian Kings Nicholas II was quoted as saying (note: Please read with Russian accent) “If that winch Elizabeth from England and her pissy little grandsons William and Harry get all that attention, why can’t we implement the same system here in our great land of Russia…..I will brrrrreak them?”


Watch out for Quasar's




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