Who is in charge of the Mexican Drug Cartels?

27 03 2009

 By: Dickey T

Speedy Gonzales

Speedy Gonzales

The drug trafficking problem in Mexico stretches over 10 of the countries states and spills into much of the United States.  The ruthless cartels rule by violence including grenade attacks, beheadings and street executions.   The cartels are so powerful they have taken over a number of cities and the Mexican government could be on the verge of collapse.  Now that’s straight gangsta!


With that said, the true question arises:  Who is the single person in charge, Who is the new age ‘Don’ of Gangsta’s Mexican Paradise, Who is the Top Chihuahua?  After going undercover and infiltrating the each cartel the same face kept turning up.  The main man behind every drug cartel in Mexico is, dum dum dum, Speedy Gonzales.

It all lines up. It all makes sense.   Speedy Gonzales is ‘The Fastest Mouse in all Mexico.’  You need that speed to cross the border and not get caught.  Speedy can run to New York, hit Chicago and Houston on the way back, while carrying 4,000 kilos; in a single night.  He is constantly screaming, “Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba! (Mexican Spanish for Come on! Hurry up!).  A saying heard throughout the drug packing plants.             In all the cartoons Speedy is surrounded by the ladies and is a known womanizer.  A known stereotypical trait of the gangsta elite.  I mean watch a rap video, you’ll get the picture.


All this time you thought Speedy Gonzales was a sweet, intelligent mouse with positive qualities.  Now you know that is all wrong.  Speedy is straight gangsta, pushing around the little people and smackin up his hoes.




One response

27 03 2009

LMAO! Well, he is called “Speedy” for a reason. A drug lord usually partakes in his own wares (remember Scarface?). Maybe in this case it’s amphetamines.

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