Why do Men have Nipples?

29 05 2009

By: Dickey T

Women have nipples to feed babies.  We all know that, but aren’t nipples useless on a man.  If we look at a science book it may tell us that from the embryonic stage all bodies are created to have similar makeup.  That is why nipples are on both men and women.

To me that is some stupid Darwinian bull crap.  Men have nipples for one purpose…titty twisters.  Ooops, two reasons…titty twisters and atomic titty twisters.  If you don’t know what that is ask for one.  It is very similar to a Hurtz Donut.

Advertisements




What Do Broken Teeth Dreams Mean?

22 05 2009
Broken Teeth Dream

Broken Teeth Dream

By: S. Andrews

There many times when people wake up from dreams and then try to decipher what they actually mean. For example there is a popular myth that if you ever land on the ground after falling off of a cliff in your dream then you will die in real life. Is this true?……Well I tell you this I’ve fallen off of many things never hitting the ground in my dreams and I have always woken up to tell the tale.

There are many other examples that I’m sure are out there but I don’t really care to research them right now because frankly, I’d rather be doing something else with my time like consuming a tasty Fat Tire Beer. However, the above question did tickle my fancy and I felt like I should…….as an upstanding humanitarian…..decipher the meaning of broken teeth dreams. By the way, just like many theories there is often more than one answer so here we go…..

Theory #1:  It means your life is out of control. It seems as though losing all of your teeth in your dream means your life is spinning periously out of control which in reality causes your teeth to fall out, because subconciously, your concious is spinning so fast your teeth fall out. Therefore the antidisciplinarism establishment juxtaposes remarkably within the confines of the enamel of broken teeth. If you have a hard time understanding this theory than maybe you should go to college and study astrophysics. I believe they cover this in year 2.

Theory #2: It means that while in your dream you should go to a Target, Walmart, CVS, etc. to purchase some superglue and glue your teeth back in. Often times people like to read into things to much and there is usually a much simpler answer like this one……If your teeth fall out, glue them back in.

Theory #3: It means you are hungry for Chic-lets. Because white chic-lets bare so much resemblence to teeth, perhaps one who is dreaming this dream has a deep desire to chew some chic-let chewing gum.

Theory #4: It means that before you wake up, you have to go to the dentist to get them fixed. Otherwise you will have lost your teeth in dreamworld forever. After many complicated sleep studies performed by very smart Harvard doctors, it has been concluded that if you break your teeth in a dream and wake up with out getting them fixed, then everytime you dream from that day on you will not have any teeth in your dreams ever again. And you can’t get them fixed, the damage is permanent. You can however, purchase dentures in your following dreams but they are very expensive and it’s been concluded that money in dream world is not valuable. This finding is comparable to the Mexican Peso in real life.

Theory #5: It means that the groundhog will see his shadow and there will be 6 more months of winter.





What would happen if Coyote caught Roadrunner?

2 05 2009

                                                                                            By: Dickey T

coyote-catches-roadrunnerIt just so happens we have the original script of this cartoon, changes and all.  Enjoy.

Coyote—Roadrunner Episode 3 Billion

Beep. Beep

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww (roadrunner running)

Beep. Beep.

Explosion.  Rocks Falling.

Coyote flies off cliff.

Beep. Beep

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww again.

Dynamite exploding. Blood and guts going everywhere.  Voltures eating  bloody flesh.

Coyote lands on his feet after flying through clouds, and falls through thorny trees.

Giant branch stuck up Coyote’s butt, blood everywhere, coyote staggers and vomits green chunks all over the screen.

Beep. Beep.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww.

Roadrunner and Coyote run though tube.  Coyote comes out with a tutu and lipstick on. Roadrunner tries to get freaky with Coyote, saying “You sure do have a pretty mouth, let’s do this Roadrunner Style sweet cheeks.” Roadrunner laughs at Coyote. Beep.  Beep. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwww.

Coyote puts rocket on his back.  After lighting fuse, Coyote catches on fire, while screaming for his life. (Blood curdling screams that will make small children cry.  coyote flies through the side of a mountain.  Holds up sign saying “Ouch.”

Roadrunner feels bad for Coyote, lays down in front of him and says, “Eat me.”

Coyote responds, by ripping  Roadrunner’s head off, pulling out his feathers and wearing his skin as a body suit. saying, “No thanks, I don’t like poultry.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJJW7EF5aVk