What did Michael Jackson Die from?

26 06 2009

By: Dickey T

Whether you think of the moonwalking wonder as the king of pop or a weirdo who plays with little boys, these answers are funny. 

Michael Jackson died from food poisoning?  He ate twelve year old nuts.

Michael Jackson didn’t die from a heart attack, he died from a “MINOR STROKE.”

Michael Jackson died from food poisoning?  He ate 3 year old weenies.

Farrah Phawcett died earlier that day.  In heaven, God asked her what she wanted.  Farrah answered, “Safety and health for all the children of the world.”  There you have it.

His white glove was stolen from OJ.

You try running a ranch.  The stess can “fondle” your health.

Janet wanted to be the most screwed up person in the family.

More to come…





WHY DO DOGS SMELL WHERE OTHERS TINKLE?

23 06 2009

This post comes to us from Michael Lacek, a friend of SATGQ. Thanks, Mike, for giving us some insight as to why dogs think urine is so fascinating…..

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I take my dog, Sadie, for a walk to the local park a couple or three times a week. Quite frequently, she will be redlining down the street and stop dead in her tracks to smell some tree trunk, fire hydrant or the like. I can presume that another dog has marked its turf with its spray. Now it seems that Sadie doesn’t want to start a turf war as she hasn’t gotten any new tattoos, nor has she been affiliated with any of the low-life pups in the [neighbor] hood. After years of rigorous research and countless hours of iPhone solitaire while on the commode, I have come to the real reason so many dogs are subject to this act. Puppy porn.
Sometimes we must take off the blindfold of science for answers. The logical explanation is that dogs have such a prolific sense of smell, that the excretion from another dog is the equivalent of human pornography. I would bet the pot that dogs can sniff the said excretion, build an image of the mystery dog and file it away in the spank-bank for later use. I can only imagine what goes on in the sniffer’s head. Does Sadie sniff and think to herself, “I would totally ride that dog”? I doubt it because I think it’s physically impossible for a female dog to “ride” another dog reverse-cowboy as they are limited to one infamous position. But you get the picture.
Two for One: This also explains why they lick their own no-no area(s) so often.