What is the Big Bang Theory?

30 09 2009
Big Bang in Action

Big Bang in Action

By: Dickey T

We hear this question throughout our years in high school science classes.  At that time we are thinking about lunch, the opposite sex; or our American Christian upbringing taught us to turn our minds off when hearing the words ‘big bang.’

Then throughout life, the words ‘big’ and ‘bang’ start to evolve into other ideals. We hear things like: “Go bang on Brad’s door,” “Man, that Thai food was bangin,” and “I really want to bang that chick.”  We also see signs everywhere! Home of the BIG Mac.  BIGGEST Loser, BIG Game Hunting, BIGGER is better.  Hell, there is even a movie named BIG. 

However, the words ‘big’ and ‘bang’ never seem to find themselves together anymore.  The two have strayed apart like that 10th grade love of the past.  They are like Palin and that old guy who can’t move is arms.  They are like John and Kate.  OK, you get the picture.

With all this said, the real answer is something way different than you would ever imagine.  We here at stupid answers came across an ancient Seminole Indian text referencing the term “Big Bang.”    It goes as follows:

 Oooo Aaa Ya Ya

Oooo Aaa Ya Ya

Big flash hit tree

Big Bang shake ground.

Big tree start on fire.

Oooo Aaa Ya Ya

Oooo Aaa Ya Ya

 So, in finding this divine language, we now know that the Big Bang is simply….lightning and thunder.

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