Is Santa Claus a Republican or a Democrat?

6 02 2010

Santa Claus

By: Dickey T

The initial argument here is that Santa Claus is a Republican.  He wears a bright RED suit!  That in itself must prove he is on the Red side. Not to mention he is fat as an elephant.  The elephant is the symbol of the Republican Party.  And lastly, Santa and Rush Limbaugh are roughly the same weight.  That makes three indicators, that he is republican.

On the other hand, Santa does ‘hand out,’ gifts, and giving hand outs is a known trait of the Democrats.   Santa is also the leader over the elves—aahh, sorry—little people.   He is also against Global warming.  If the North Pole melts, Santa and Mrs. Claus are homeless.

HOWEVER…..Santa DOES NOT fly on private jets, (well he kind of does). Santa DOES NOT fly to Argentina to cheat on Mrs. Claus, (well he might, have you seen those female helpers at the mall). Santa DOES NOT give more toys to those who bribe him with oil money, (do cookies count)?  Santa DOES NOT take extremely long vacations why the rest of work hard all year, (he really only works one day a year). Santa DOES NOT surround himself with other men dressed in suits, (back to the elves). Santa DOES NOT put you in debt because of material greed, (presents)! Santa DOES NOT look you in the eye and ask you what you want and then sneak in your back door and give you what he thinks you should have, (wait a second).

HOLY CRAP—Santa is a politician, except he has bridged the divide and is fooling all of us.  Santa isn’t Republican or Democrat. He’s a Dictator of huge proportions!

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2 responses

6 02 2010
CluelessPedestrian

I’d like to believe that Santa is a communist. That is why every Christmas I adorn my tree with the hammer and sickle, and the ashes of my fallen comrades.

8 02 2010
Dickey T

Clueless, that’s down right funny. Thanks for making us laugh.

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