What does “Seacrest Out” mean?

25 08 2010

Seacrest Out

To most people ‘Seacrest Out” is JUST Ryan Seacrest’s signature good bye and good night slang.  However, having a BS Psychology and a Doctorate in Why Hollywood Stars are Whacko, we see this slogan differently.  When “Seacrest Out” is expressed we see pain in those midget eyes.  “Seacrest Out” is really a cry for help.  It is a suicide note that needs to be addressed.  I mean the dude makes $40 million a year, he must be depressed.  Stupid Answers OUT! 

Note:  We also want to steal the line. Sooooo, if he is crazy, it will be easier to adopt.

Now what Mr. Dodson? What is next for this vigilante of homeboy rapists?

19 08 2010

Antione Dodson became an overnight Internet sensation after he was interviewed by the local news after saving his sister from an alleged rapist who broke into their home. After the incident Mr. Dodson challenged the attacker through a poignant slur of jargon by informing the attacker that he can “run and tell that” to the homeboy who broke into their home because he didn’t have to confess, due to the fact that Mr. Dodson and the police were looking for him and they were going to find him and then again informed the attacker that he could “run and tell that” to the homeboy. He also verbally jabbed the attacker by telling him that he “was so dumb” and that he had his T-shirt, fingerprints and description, and again repeated that he didn’t have to come and confess because they were going to find him and presumably, as I interpreted it, bring him to justice. Also, Mr. Dodson in what seemed to be out of respect for his community, informed the rest of the residents in the area that this attacker was climbin in peoples windows tryan to snatch your people up so ya’ll need to hide your kids, wife and whatever else that might not be firmly affixed to any of the interior or exterior structure of their homes. After the incident, Mr. Dodson’s popularity skyrocketed after a group calling themselves the Gregory Brothers created an R&B song of the interview. With all of this attention Mr. Dodson has become a national sensation which led us here at Stupid Answers to Great Questions ask the question, “Now what Mr. Dodson? What is next for this vigilante of homeboy rapists?”

After a brief and I mean extremely brief interview with Mr. Dodson, we have found out he now has plans to become a contract killer of homeboy rapists and attackers who climb in peoples windows and snatch people up. “After the attack, I realized that I have this 6th sense to run to danger and kick the sh***t out of anyone who climbs up in windows and doors trying to rape anything that moves” exclaimed Mr. Dodson. “I mean I don’t care if it’s the 25 year old with coffee brown skin with ceasar haircuts or the 90 year old grandma strung out on weed and Quaaludes, if theys trying to rape anyone, theys going to get jacked up” said Dodson.  Even though Dodson may have a natural impulse to save people from danger, where the mind is willing the body is weak. He is currently enrolled in the Boondock Saints school for vigilante justice in Cochituate, MA which is about an hour outside of Boston. “Even though I aint sceared of homeboy rapists, I realized that my homeboy rapist ass kicking skillz are not where theys needs to bees, I called the Saints and asked if I could run wit dem for a few months and kind of learn the tricks of the trade” explained Dodson. “I mean if I had any skillz, that homeboy mother f***er would have not gotten away. That’ll change though, the Saints will get me where I need to be.”

Once Dodson’s homeboy rapist killing training is complete, he plans on launching a marketing campaign that will inform homeboy rapists across the nation of his intentions so they can run and tell that to whomever or whatever they run and tell that to. “I’s plans on making a homeboy rapist killing uniform that I can wear anytime I have to kill a homeboy rapist” Dodson said. It almost sounds like Dodson is going to become a real life Batman like character, but without the bats and crazy car. However, Dodson plans on cruising the mean streets of Huntsville in his tricked out ice cream truck that will play the intruder song tune. “When that songs is blastin from my speakers, that will let the homeboy rapists knows I’m comin and that everyone needs to hide their wife, kids, poodles, sheeps or anything else that can be subject to a homeboy raping” shouted Dodson. Dodson went on to explain that the uniform, truck and alter ego will help separate himself from his normal everyday Clark Kent type lifestyle. He explained that it was important for him to not lose his true self in the midst of his homeboy rapist killings.

Dodson, also plans on creating a not-for-profit wife and kid hiding community center where when the homeboy rapists get out of hand with their rapings and beatings, people can bring their wife and kids to the center to be hidden during all of the commotion. “It’s just a place where wife and kids can get away just in case things get out of hand during my homeboy rapist killings” explained Dodson. The center will also hold classes one night a week that will teach people in the community how to hide their wives and kids from homeboy rapists if they can’t make it to the community center in time. In these classes, they are taught to hide wives and kids in places that a homeboy rapist my not look, for example, the pantry is a primary hiding spot. Because of the homeboy rapists rabid, insaciable appetite for illegal, forced, unconsentual sex the last thing on their mind is food and therefore the pantry is a good place to hide. Dodson explained that theoretically the refrigerator would be an even better spot, but because of the cold temperatures and lack of oxygen it would not be an environment condusive for the survival of wives in kids. “We would kind ofs bees defeating the purposes of saving our wives and kids if wees suggested that for a hiding spot” Dodson said with a homeboy killing grin.

With a recent statistical spike in the national homeboy rapist rapings there is a market for contract homeboy rapist killers. “It’s something that we need to get under control” said U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder. “It’s not only affected our economy and my popularity numbers, but I’m sure it’s got to be mind bottling for the victims too, we have got to get a handle on these homeboy rapists” said President Barrack Obama. “I already have enough to deal with from this oil spill to my intense vacation schedule, I don’t need this homeboy rapist thing to get out of hand”.  Therefore it seems as though our nation would welcome more Antione Dodson’s into this world.