What is the United States Government Efficient at doing?

18 11 2010

Though I deal directly with local and state government more than national government, I ask this question to raise questioning on all government.  To give credit, where credit is due, our military is hands down the BEST IN THE WORLD in the combat arena.  Yet, they are not good on spending or in business relations.  Outside that, the following list gives a pretty complete rundown of our ‘efficient’ government.  Our government is efficient at:

1.  Spending tax payer money on gin martinis, girlfriends boob jobs, and elaborate food for stupid functions.  I mean think about the dollar amount DC spends specifically on food at their dumbass “Insert Any and I mean Any Name” Ball.

2.  The government officials are ‘efficient’ at cheating on their wives.  The Carolina’s are expecially good at this. 

3.  Botox—all you have to do is look at Pelosi’s face.  That is your tax money people and making a scary woman even scarier.

4.  Vacations.  Come on and jump on this thought train—Obama has traveled to more than 24 countries, meaning at least one country a month.  This does not include domestic travel.  Some say he is working, but I have gone on business trips too, and you work half the time—the rest is fun.

5. Wasting time.  We are sooo over governmentalized its unbelievable.  For an example, you need something reviewed by A OFFICE in government, but your reviewer is reviewed by a reviewer, who is reviewed by a boss, who has to check with another department, who doesn’t know about what is being requested, so they ask a third department who denies your request, because they don’t know what to do with what was sent to them, by a department which is not who you submitted too.

Wrap your head around that one people!!!! It’s a brain beater.

6.  And Finally, and most obvious. Blue suits.  If I see one more blue suit in congress…I’ll…I’ll…well, I don’t know what I will do, but it won’t be good.

So, there you have it.  Government is THE example of efficient, just like George W. was a good speaker.



9 02 2009

Economic StimulusBy: Dickey T

The text books say an economic stimulus plan is a plan to better our economy and to help us avoid a recession.  According to our saving grace, also known as President Barack Obama, an economic stimulus plan is expensive, really expensive.  It is so expensive I quite doing the math after $900 billion.  This large chunk of money is going to support Manufacturing and Green Jobs, Provide Tax Relief, Support Education, Invest in New Infrastructure and Boast Spending in Science and Technology.


But this is all wrong.


First off you can’t plan to be stimulated.  If that sexy woman in the red dress and high heels walks by, you don’t plan on becoming ‘stimulated,’ it just happens. 


Secondly, there are 435 bald, old men in their blue suits, sitting in congress brainstorming on a ‘stimulus plan.’  The only thing these old farts will be the stimuli for is the sales of Viagra.  We are a pretty stupid nation to allow men who can’t get stimulated, to be in charge of the stimulating. 


Lastly, who is the woman in the red dress?  Is it China?  I personally don’t think so.  The opening ceremony of the 2008 Olympics may have been really expensive (presidential requirement for stimulation), and very impressive or should I say ‘stimulating.’  However, I feel like China would do something amazing to stimulate you, then whip out a samurai sword and chop that stimulation to pieces. 


So, with that said, there is no way to arouse the economy with some brilliant plan…it will just happen when the time is right.  I say remove the blue suits in congress and replace them with the college sorority sisters from south Florida, adorned in form fitting red dresses, with matching heels.  That would make our economy reach heights never seen.