What Do Broken Teeth Dreams Mean?

Broken Teeth Dream

By: S. Andrews

There many times when people wake up from dreams and then try to decipher what they actually mean. For example there is a popular myth that if you ever land on the ground after falling off of a cliff in your dream then you will die in real life. Is this true?……Well I tell you this I’ve fallen off of many things never hitting the ground in my dreams and I have always woken up to tell the tale.

There are many other examples that I’m sure are out there but I don’t really care to research them right now because frankly, I’d rather be doing something else with my time like consuming a tasty Fat Tire Beer. However, the above question did tickle my fancy and I felt like I should…….as an upstanding humanitarian…..decipher the meaning of broken teeth dreams. By the way, just like many theories there is often more than one answer so here we go…..

Theory #1:  It means your life is out of control. It seems as though losing all of your teeth in your dream means your life is spinning periously out of control which in reality causes your teeth to fall out, because subconciously, your concious is spinning so fast your teeth fall out. Therefore the antidisciplinarism establishment juxtaposes remarkably within the confines of the enamel of broken teeth. If you have a hard time understanding this theory than maybe you should go to college and study astrophysics. I believe they cover this in year 2.

Theory #2: It means that while in your dream you should go to a Target, Walmart, CVS, etc. to purchase some superglue and glue your teeth back in. Often times people like to read into things to much and there is usually a much simpler answer like this one……If your teeth fall out, glue them back in.

Theory #3: It means you are hungry for Chic-lets. Because white chic-lets bare so much resemblence to teeth, perhaps one who is dreaming this dream has a deep desire to chew some chic-let chewing gum.

Theory #4: It means that before you wake up, you have to go to the dentist to get them fixed. Otherwise you will have lost your teeth in dreamworld forever. After many complicated sleep studies performed by very smart Harvard doctors, it has been concluded that if you break your teeth in a dream and wake up with out getting them fixed, then everytime you dream from that day on you will not have any teeth in your dreams ever again. And you can’t get them fixed, the damage is permanent. You can however, purchase dentures in your following dreams but they are very expensive and it’s been concluded that money in dream world is not valuable. This finding is comparable to the Mexican Peso in real life.

Theory #5: It means that the groundhog will see his shadow and there will be 6 more months of winter.

Who is in charge of the Mexican Drug Cartels?

 

 By: Dickey T

Speedy Gonzales

The drug trafficking problem in Mexico stretches over 10 of the countries states and spills into much of the United States.  The ruthless cartels rule by violence including grenade attacks, beheadings and street executions.   The cartels are so powerful they have taken over a number of cities and the Mexican government could be on the verge of collapse.  Now that’s straight gangsta!

 

With that said, the true question arises:  Who is the single person in charge, Who is the new age ‘Don’ of Gangsta’s Mexican Paradise, Who is the Top Chihuahua?  After going undercover and infiltrating the each cartel the same face kept turning up.  The main man behind every drug cartel in Mexico is, dum dum dum, Speedy Gonzales.

It all lines up. It all makes sense.   Speedy Gonzales is ‘The Fastest Mouse in all Mexico.’  You need that speed to cross the border and not get caught.  Speedy can run to New York, hit Chicago and Houston on the way back, while carrying 4,000 kilos; in a single night.  He is constantly screaming, “Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba! (Mexican Spanish for Come on! Hurry up!).  A saying heard throughout the drug packing plants.             In all the cartoons Speedy is surrounded by the ladies and is a known womanizer.  A known stereotypical trait of the gangsta elite.  I mean watch a rap video, you’ll get the picture.

 

All this time you thought Speedy Gonzales was a sweet, intelligent mouse with positive qualities.  Now you know that is all wrong.  Speedy is straight gangsta, pushing around the little people and smackin up his hoes.